3. The Samsara and the curse of the White Fairy

Flaming, speeding fire trail,
What do you ask of me?
Your moving streaks have made me pale.
What is lost is what i see...

Open the skies and suck me in
Make me rule or make me sin
For I'm weary of this mortal skin
As it cages me, enrages me
Unfolding dark tunnels of eerie screams
Fall out of the line because I need to
Remind her that what was perhaps was perhaps
The only thing that really was!

When one is stuck between the real and the unreal, what is the ideal thing to do? I would say that it is to get back to the most true feeling that you've had. But here the most true feeling is that hallucination. Her skin at two-finger reach. Her bright luminosity stopping my touch. What am I supposed to do when such complexities are intertwined? Why am I not asinine? Why am I not really dumb? Dumb enough to forget even before remembering. Its like this one compartment - one sector in my grey matter, that has been reserved. Never to be erased. Read only memory! Too bad punter - She spits on you. Go, cry to the streets and they'll slap you. Because that is what you probably deserve - to be ground to intellectual powder because you can neither dissolve nor be touched. Your fate is to exist for the rest of your life reading the word ALONE over and over again. It does not stop there. You'll be thrown senses that bring back your most vivid memories.

The white fairy adores her shimmering reflection on the lake front. She remembers the time she kissed the urchin. That was before discovering the taste of sugar. He warned her of the bitter repercussions but she flaunted the difference of opinion. He cried because he knew that the present was just a moment that was about to explode into vanity. She disagreed. She still does. He cried. He still does. She is now married to the Son of the Moonlord living in opulent bliss possessing everything she ever desired. He has been shunned. He can feel but does not exist anymore! He can see everything that he desired possessed by another being. Do you see him running on the streets laughing at almost nothing? Please laugh at him. He is his own amusement. His own recreation...

I clicked my lighter on. The dark room was a stranger to the orange spark. But I was no stranger to her. Her eyes rose from the horizon. With infinite poise in them as the dry biochemical in the pipe burnt to black ash. Was she supposed to blink? Was I supposed to kiss the almighty oneness? Were we ever supposed to tread that specific path that otherwise would have made only a trifling difference.

I can hear things. Who is doing this and why? I don't get the point. I hate free will because I use it as an excuse to cling on to my ultimate misery - loss, you see? Do you see? How can you? Its mine. Alas!

Carry the ceiling away. And force the ladder through. I want to climb into the skies of tranquility. To have the power to control, and more importantly create something on my own. (*Hearing things again*)


Picture courtesy : Shivlink Records (cover art for the VA - Samsara)